Isaiah 40:31

I am here in Santa Cruz, Bolivia! It doesn't even seem real. Where should I begin...? Okay, let's start with the plane ride.
So I am sitting on the plane, panicking, crying, and wishing that I wasn't going on this trip. I was so upset. So there I was with my eyes clenched shut and praying that the flight would go well. Then something in my head (probably God) told me to lock it up and open up the bible and start reading. So I wasn't about to argue and did that. As soon as I layed my bible down on the tray the lady next to me poked me. She then gave me a huge smile and a thumbs up! It was so funny that I started laughing. Then she proceeded to tell me about how we all go through trials and hard times but those are the times that you need to hang onto hope the most. I just sat there in shock. It was incredible because her words were so comforting and from God. And then...my stomach started growling and I thought to myself, "Oh no, we have a couple hours until we land." Right after, this same lady offered me a bag of chips, an apple, and honey nut cheerios. It was really incredible. Maybe to some this would have been interpreted just as a coincidence but not to me. I know that although I turn my back on Him so often and have such little hope, God is watching over me...taking care of me. I need now to trust Him. It has just been so hard...and esepcially with being homesick I feel very alone. There are five wonderful girls here with me but it seems so hard for me to connect with them because I am missing home so much. But I keep telling myself that it isnt a bad thing and that things will get easier. Today, Laurie (one of our host) was talking to us about this issue. She was talking about how Christians often feel guilt about this issue because we often feel that...you know...God should fill that void and if He isnt or doesnt then somehting is wrong with you. But she said that it is a good thing because we are connected with people at home...people that God has blessed us with...and that void will probably never be filled and shouldnt be because it is so specific to those we love. But it doesnt mean He isnt around...because He is. And I have to keep telling myself that. Its funny to me how as people...God can make Himself so evident to us but yet we insist that He has abandoned us and focus on the bad aspects. Well...excuse my languge...but I am tired of that shit. Sorry again!
My whole life I felt that I could never connect with God...He was never accessible....but He is and I am slowly discovering that. He is all around us and it is okay for us to be scared, or sad, or frustrated. I always thought that it was wrong and sinful to feel those negative emotions. But now I need to start shwoing myself a little grace. I am a work in progress...I am reframing my theology, how I understand Scripture, and really seeking God in everything and even though it is frightening...it is necessary and I am ready to really establish a firm spiritual foundation...
Anyway, enough about that. Let me try to describe what Bolivia is like and what we have done so far. We arrived yesterday morning after a night flight. I actually slept on the flight because I downed some Tylenol PM. I know...not necessarily a good idea but desperate times calls for desperate measures. Anyway, we get off the plane, got through customs, finally made it outside and the first thing I notice is that it is super super super windy. And that is not an exagerration. Apparently it gets REALLY windy this time of year. It is so crazy! And the city is set up in rings. It is really hard to describe but MCC is located in the 1st ring...the innermost ring. Where I will be moving to in a couple of weeks is the most outer ring! So that will be interesting. But the city is not like a typical city. It is quieter and not as many tall buildlings. It has a more town feel to it. But I apologize but I am really tired and will try to update tomorrow more of what is going on...