Too Long...

This post is way overdue. And I have so much to say but yet I am struggling to find words. I will try.
Update on Bolivia:
I have started to do home visits with families from the daycare center and it is really exciting. I love all the of kids and so its always interesting to meet their families. I do feel overwhelmed because although I studied Family Science .... this context is very different and I can't just take what I studied within US context and transfer it here. I will just have to trust that God will use some of the wisdom I gained at Messiah and help me mold it to work here. I also am intimidated because I feel that my Spanish has not gotten better but actually worse! Ahhh! It's frustrating but I think I just get thrown off my Bolivian Spanish because I think its so different from any other country. They have their own strong accent, intonation, and words, and I get easily confused and then frustrated at myself. But I just try to take it one conversation at a time.
I have been spending a lot of time with the kids and taking pictures with the intention of posting them on here but left my camera at home so that will have to wait until another day. Sorry! But be excited because they are super cute!

Update on myself:
My time here in Bolivia has been filled with joy, sadness, confusion, many tears and many smiles. I almost always feel lonely yet I know I am not alone. Obviously because God is with me. I miss home all the time and often wish I would have pursued Teach for America instead so that I could be in my familiar context, culture, home. But then I take a step back and remember...remember why I came. Why I am making this sacrifice. I guess when I applied I thought..."Yeah, I am going to go to Bolivia, walk alongside the people, and be the best SALTer MCC has ever seen!" I realized...that I have been so me-focused. And not other-focused. I thought I could do it all. Then this summer hit and I fell hard from being on top of my little mountain. I went through a very rough time this summer and came to Bolivia confused and very depressed. But since I have been here, I have learned a lot of hard lessons...note the following...
1. We should never take anything for granted. NOTHING.
2. Don't overanalyze. Thank you Josh... :)
3. Don't be so hard on yourself.
4. If you feel that you are having a rough day or you are in a foul mood...don't feel bad or guiltyabout it...just live through it and you'll get over it
5. Just love :)
This summer I drove myself crazying thinking that I wasn't good enough for God. I wasn't doing enough things to change the world or change my environment. I wasn't spiritual enough or have this deep crazy connection with the Holy Spirit. Then I thought God was disappointed and I got more depressed thinking of everything that is wrong in the world that I forgot to celebrate the love and goodness.
So I learned my lesson the hard way and I am stilling learning it. God doesn't expect us to save the world. That is His job. He just wants us to love Him and love others and do good (and be intentional). So that is what I focus on doing. Its hard thing to change when for so long I measured my selfworth with grades, achievements, leadership roles, etc. So this whole healing, learning lessons thing is hard and I often feel alone but I know I am not. And I know all those that I love and that love me are with me. All the time...in spirit!

So thank you to all of those who have encouraged me. I love you all. Whether it has been through emails, reading this blog, facebook messages, positive thoughts, prayers or calls. I am still on this lesson learning journey...but I guess that is what life is all about.