El Choque

¨Choque¨ in spanish means a impact, crash, shock, or clash. I usually use the word to mean cultural clash. Growing up in a Latin American home (within the US context), having visited Puerto Rico many times, and having lived in Ecuador, I thought coming to Bolivia would be cake. Naturally, I expected some misunderstandings or situations where I would feel out of context but never did I expect it to be at this level. I feel like I am constanting clashing with the culture. Perhaps I have never felt this before because I have never worked or lived for more than five months in those other contexts. For the exception of my home where I grew up which had acculturated a significant amount to our broader society.
Here in Bolivia, I am confronted daily with things I dont understand or like or even want to learn to like or deal with. These include (in Santa Cruz)- machisimo, spanish words specific to Bolivia (there are A LOT), the food, the coya/camba conflict, trash, pedestrians not having the right away, hatred against Evo, poor nutrition habits, urinating in public, people pushing to get a seat on the bus, abandoned women and children, people be robbed at gunpoint, drunk men hitting/falling on me. I have hit rock bottom of the cultural clash chart. I hate admitting that too. I have grown up in a society where my culture often is unacknowledged and oppressed. So of course, I thought before coming here... ¨no way will I judge cruceño culture!¨ I thought I could be very tolerant and not view the culture through North American lenses. I thought that I wouldn´t struggle with cultural clashes. I obviously wasn´t being honest with myself. And how can I then as a US citizen reconcile with that? That I hate sometimes this culture!
I acknowledge the fact that I my country (yes, I am calling the US my country!) has played a major role in many of those aspects that I just listed. The trash, nutrition habits, political climate, alcoholism, etc. It is a hard reality to face.
I have to constantly remind myself that I am privileged to be here and that I am human. I am imperfect. Even if I came with the notion to Bolivia that I wouldn´t struggle with cultural differences, that I would be the best SALTer MCC or Samuelito has ever seen, the greatest host sister, daughter, grandaughter, niece to my Bolivian family, sooner or later I would have to realize that I was being very unrealistic. But in the midst of learning how to cope, how to reconcile, how to appreciate, how to build relationships with the marginalized, the poor, and even the rich of Santa Cruz, I am maturing as an individual. And something that Bolivians have taught me here in Santa Cruz is to see the beauty that is all around me. This beauty includes the determined loving spirit of the families I work with, the fruit trees that populate the city, the children that walk along the roads, the vendors that sell me soda in a bag, the clear sunsets, the business of the rotonda, and many many more. It is always good to remind myself in the midst of the ¨choque¨ to look for that beauty because in my business and at times, grumpiness, I can easily miss it. Beauty is not always loud in our faces but is hidden all around us. We just need open eyes and hearts to see it. Then, once we can embrace our individual darkness (frustrations, fears, etc.), seek and appreciate the beauty, and are open to learn, we can be agents of change for the communities we work with and love. I believe it is truly a life long process.