Pagan...or Not?

As I sit here thinking of something to write...my mind keeps wondering back to a book I just read right before coming to Bolivia called Malinche (I can´t underline or put quotations). Anyway, this book is fantastic and was given to me by a dear friend. In this book, the main character struggles through her faith as she encounters the Spanish conquistadors. She talks about her faith and their faith. Any maybe some would say her view is pagan but in my experience it aligns with my beliefs and is more biblical than what we encounter in today´s Christian pop culture. She sees God in everything and everyone. That we are all connected. And because of that all life is sacred and we should always seek the good of others. I wish I had the specifc quote right in front of me but unfortunately I don´t. I am slowly realizing that I can´t focus on what others say about God too much as I wrestle through my faith because then I get so confused. I need to focus on Him...on what He says to me. It has been quite the journey and healing process.
Anyway, I haven´t updated much as to exactly what I have been doing or experienced so here is a little something...
We have been here in Cochabamba for almost a week. Cochabamba is known as (according to Wiki) "City of Eternal Spring."According to my own experience this is quite accurate. Everyday is hot and sunny and very dry. We attend language classes every weekay for about 4 hours. That has been interesting as we usually have different teachers and we can talk about the culture, history, etc. Wednesday, a few of us girls went to the convent in Santa Cruz. For many years at this convent, the nuns would take a vow of silence and a vow of poverty. They would have to give up all worldly things and they weren´t allowed to talk except for two hours a day. They also weren´t allowed to intereact, see, or be seen by the public. Now it is a little different. They have turned much of the convent into a museum. In almost every room there was Jesus. And Jesus was always European looking and very beatup and bloody. I can´t relate to that and it was slightly morbid for me. Focus too much on death instead of life. And to me that life is what Jesus represents.
So we have been just taking classes and just learning about the country. It has been good but I feel tired and restless often. This experience has really been teaching me patience and grace. Right now I am learning to trust myself and find my home within. I´ve been able to do that also with my housemate which is great because we have been walking alongside each other as we wrestle through issues of faith, love, and grace.

peace,
Arelis